The wisdom behind marriage

Before we start discussing this issue, it is compulsory for all of us to know with full certainty that all the rulings of the Sharee'ah are wise, and each is in its proper place, and they do not contain any jest and foolishness. This is because they are from the Wise, the all-Knower. But, is all that wisdom (clearly understandable) for the creatures? Certainly human beings have limited knowledge, thought and mind. So, it is not possible for them to understand everything, nor can they be given intuitive knowledge of everything. Allaah the Exalted says:

{And they ask you (O Muhammad ) concerning the Rooh (the Spirit); Say: "The Rooh is one of the things, the knowledge of which is only with my Lord. And of knowledge, you (mankind) have been given only a little.} (Soorah al-Israa., Aayah 85)

Also, it is compulsory to willingly accept the rulings of the Sharee'ah sent down by Allaah upon His servants, whether or not we understand the wisdom behind them.

Some of the wisdom behind marriage (include):

1) Safeguarding and protecting each of the couple: The Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:

«O group of youth, whoever can bear the burden should get married, for it is better in covering your eyes and safeguarding your private parts.»

2) Safeguarding the society from evil and moral degeneration: for, if not because of marriage, abominable acts would have become widespread among men and women;

3) Each of the couple enjoys rights and partnership from the other: The man takes care of the woman, feeds, accommodates and clothes her according to his ability and the norm. The Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:

«Their rights upon you is their maintenance and clothing according to the norm.»

And the woman takes care of the man by doing what is compulsory upon her in the house such as caring and maintaining it. The Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:

«… and a woman is a shepherd in her husband's house and will be questioned about her flock.»

4) Forming sound relationships between families and ethnic groups: How many distant families, unknown to each other, were brought together, close and firm, through marriage? That is why Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) made marriage co-equal with kinship as mentioned earlier;

5) The continued existence of the human race via a safe manner: because marriage is a means to childbirth, through which continued human existence is guaranteed. Allaah the Exalted said:

{O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allaah is Ever an All-Watcher over you.} (Soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 1).

And if not for marriage, one of two things must occur: either the extinction of the human race or the existence of people resulting from adultery, having no genealogy, nor living according to any morality.

I think it is good for me to digress a bit here, and discuss the ruling concerning birth control. I therefore state as follows:

Restricting childbirth by a particular number is against the goal of Allaah, because the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) directed his followers to marry women who have high birth rates and and the reason he gave for that, that he wants to be proud (of our numbers) in front of other prophets and nations (on the day of Judgement). Scholars of Islaamic Jurisprudence said that, a man should marry a woman who is known for her high birth rate either herself, if she was married earlier, or through (analogy with) her close female relatives such as her Mother or sister, if she was not married earlier.

Furthermore, what need is there for restricting the (number of) children? Is it out of the fear of poverty and meager means or fear of the difficulties of upbringing? If the former is the reason, then, this is a (form of) habouring a negative thought towards Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) because whenever the Glorified and Exalted creates any creation, He definitely provides its sustenance.

Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) says:

{And no (moving) living creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah.} (Soorah Hood, Aayah 6)

and He said:

{And so many a moving (living) creature there is, that carries not its own provision! Allaah provides for it and for you. And He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.} (Soorah al-'Ankaboot, Aayah 60)

and He also remarked, concerning those who kill their children for fear of poverty,

{And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin.} (Soorah al-Israa., Aayah 31)

If on the other hand, the reason behind birth control is the fear of the difficulties in their upbringing , then this is a mistake. How many times have a few number of children caused suffering to their parents during their upbringing? whereas a large number of children were easy to bring up – with the Help of Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala)! So, the more a servant fears His Lord and follows the prescribed Islaamic route, Allaah the Exalted will make his affairs easy. Allaah states:

{And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).} (Soorah at-Talaaq, Aayah 2)

Once it is clear that restricting childbirth is not permissible in Islaam, the question is: Is planned pregnancy a manner which befits the mother's situation also like that or not?

The answer: No! A planned pregnancy according to the mother's situation is not at all part of (the forbidden) birth-control, and what I mean by planned pregnancy is that the married couple use a means of preventing pregnancy at certain times, (but) not all the time. This is permissible if both the husband and wife agree to do so, such as where the wife is weak and a pregnancy increases her weakness or sickness, and she is frequently pregnant, so she may use tablets, with the permission of her husband, to prevent a pregnancy for a given period of time and there is no harm in that. In fact the Sahaabah – companions of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) – may Allaah be pleased with them, used to practice al-'Azl – coitus-interruptus – during the lifetime of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), but they were not forbidden from doing that. Of course al-'Azl is among the means of preventing a pregnancy from that particular sexual intercourse.