The consequences of marriage

There are many consequences of marriage, including:

1) The dower becomes compulsory: the dowry is the wealth given to the bride as a result of the marriage contract, becomes established for the woman because of the marriage, whether it was stated as a pre-condition or not.

Thus, if it was specified, then it is the specified amount, be it little or much; But, if it was not specified, such as a case where the marriage is concluded but he did not give her anything, and nothing was specified, then the husband has to give her 'the dower of her choice', that is what is normally given to women of her category. Similarly, the dowry could be (in the form of) tangible wealth, or it may be in the form of a service, because the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) married off a woman to a man on condition that he teaches her something from the Qur.aan.

The correct Islaamic guidelines concerning the dower is to make it as little as possible, because, the lesser it is the better (the marriage is), in emulation of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) and so as to achieve blessings; because the most blessed of marriages is the least burdening, and (Imaam) Muslim has reported in his Saheeh collection that a man said to the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam): I married a woman, and he asked: "How much did you give her as dowry?" He answered: Four Awaaq (meaning 160 Dirham), upon which the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:

«Four Awaaq!? As if you excavate silver from the face of this mountain! We don't have that to give you, but we may dispatch you along with a battalion, perhaps you may get something, from there.»

And 'Umar (radhi-yAllaahu 'anhu) said:

"Do not make the dowry of women too high, because if it were an honour in this world or righteousness in the hereafter, the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) would have been the most deserving of that than you. But, the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) never gave a dowry to any woman among his wives nor collected for any of his daughters more than 12 Awaaq and an Awaaq is equal to 40 Dirham."

In fact the rise in dowry these days has had its negative effect in preventing several people from marriage, men and women, and men have ended up spending several years before they can acquire the dowry, as a result of which several evils have come up including:

a) Many men and women could not get married;
b) The family of a lady have started looking at the dowry, is it big or small? Thus, to many of them, the dowry is what they can gain from the man not the bride; so if it is much, they marry her off to him, and do not care about the consequences, but if it is small, they reject the proposal even if he is acceptable by religious and moral standards;
c) That when the relationship between the husband and the wife becomes bad, but the dowry is such a huge amount, then in most cases he wouldn't allow himself to divorce her in kindness, rather he will harm and stress her, perchance she may return part of what he gave to her. But, if the dowry were small, he would have found it easy to part with her.

Certainly if people were moderate in dowry and helped one another in that and some notable figures start to implement this, a lot of good would have spread in the society, much peace of mind would have occurred, and many men and women would have been safeguarded.

Unfortunately, people have now begun to compete in raising dowries, to the extent that they introduce new things which were not known, every year, in fact we don't know when they will stop? But, some people, especially the Bedouins used to take a good approach which is a little bit easier, that is by delaying a part of the dower; for example, he may give him the bride for a certain amount of dowry, but half will be paid now and the other half a year later or more or less. This definitely makes it a bit easier for the husband.

2) Taking care of her personal needs: It is compulsory upon the husband to take care of his wife according to his means and the norm, supplying her with food, drink, clothing and shelter. Thus, if he refused to give any of the compulsory things, he is a sinner and she is allowed to take from his wealth the equivalent of what will satisfy her needs, or to borrow on his behalf, and he must pay the debt.

Waleemah is a part of the compulsory spending, and it refers to the food normally prepared by the bridegroom and for which he invites people to take. It is a Sunnah – an established practice of the Prophets (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) – which we have been commanded to observe, because the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) did that and directed others to do the same.

But, forbidden extravagance should be all avoided during Waleemah and it should also be according to the ability of the husband. As for what some people do, where by huge amounts of money are spent in them, this should not be so and it leads to unnecessarily spending huge amounts of money without any benefit.

3) Relationship between the husband, the wife and their families: Certainly Allaah placed love and kindness between a husband and his wife, and this relationship brings about responsibilities which are placed upon his shoulders according to the norm, because wherever there is a relationship, responsibilities have to be shouldered accordingly.

4) Forbiddance of Marriage: That is the husband becomes a Mahram, forbidden from marrying her mothers and grandmothers, no matter how high up; and her daughters and the daughters of her daughters no matter how low down, so long as he has had sexual contact with her. Similarly, the wife becomes a Maharam, forbidden from being married to his fathers and grandfathers no matter how high up, and to his sons and grandchildren, no matter how low down.

5) Inheritance: Once a man enters into a valid marital contract with a woman, then inheritance will occur between them and there is no difference in the ruling, whether or not he has had sexual intercourse with her because of the saying of Allaah:

{In that which your wives leave, your share is a half if they have no child; but if they leave a child, you get a fourth of that which they leave after payment of legacies that they may have bequeathed or debts. In that which you leave, their (your wives) share is a fourth if you leave no child; but if you leave a child, they get an eighth of that which you leave after payment of legacies that you may have bequeathed or debts…} (Soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 12)